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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28649835">With Gold and Silver</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanquill/pseuds/Vanquill'>Vanquill</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Gay Panic, Gen, Internal Monologue, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Uchiha Sasuke, thats literally it, this is honestly just me wanting good things for the boys</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:41:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28649835</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanquill/pseuds/Vanquill</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke thinks, maybe shortcircuits a little.</p><p>He still doesn't know how he's here.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>With Gold and Silver</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>━━━━━</p><p> </p><p>Kintsugi, otherwise known as Kintsukuroi, is a Japanese art of mending broken pottery pieces back together with gold, silver, or platinum lacquer. Its philosophy states that in accepting flaws and imperfections, you can easily create a more beautiful and stronger piece of art.</p><p> </p><p>━━━━━</p><p> </p><p>His heart <em>aches</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>In every thump, every beat, every throb, every tick, his heart is inconsolably <em>aching. </em>It squeezes with the might of unrivaled strength, pressure building up inside his chest until he feels as if the bothersome organ would just up and explode without question. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He feels as if he’s nearly suffocating with how overwhelming his heart jumps and croaks in both wariness and sentiment. It fills him in, right there and then, how absolutely <em>unsettled </em>he feels. It seeps into his bones, through the tensions of his muscles, beneath his skin until his body is no longer connected to his own mind.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He can’t move, his body cannot move a muscle. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s not that he can’t just choose to move, really, he’s just frozen in time, uncertain of what to do. He cannot move, and only because he doesn’t have a choice. No choice whatsoever. He cannot jerk away or run out of the window immediately, he’s unable to reach out for the handle of his kunai and press it against his assailant’s jugular.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Because he really <em>can’t. </em>Doesn’t even want to, unfortunately.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Maa, Sasuke, you’re really awkward, y’know?” His voice comes out as a whisper between parted lips, like a secret shared between the two men. Despite the way he drawls the words as an obvious tease, he rises for the bait anyway.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Your breath stinks.” He lies smoothly, watching in amusement at the affronted look he receives – as if he stole his firstborn. The blonde is always quick to react, above all. Even after all these years, he still manages to get under his skin without much difficulty. Perhaps it comes with the package of one Uzumaki Naruto.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Naruto huffs out indignantly, his warm breath fanning the Uchiha for a second before it disappears. “But I brushed my teeth already. You’re such a bastard.” He softly shakes his head, burrowing his cheek onto his soft pillow as he settles down with an unusual but not entirely unwelcomed quiet. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Naruto looks up at him through fluttering, pale lashes with a look that has his heart pacing quicker and quicker. He’s sure, in the quiet of the room, that his partner could hear how hard it slammed against his chest, how difficult it was to take a single breath at that moment. With the moonlight cast across his face, his features alight – illuminating him in pale shades of silver hues. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He gulps slowly, unsure of what to make of him staring at his blonde teammate. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s enraptured. Even in his genin years, he liked observing the idiot. For future blackmail purposes, of course. But it’s one of the few times he stops to think as to why that is. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His eyes follow the curve of his nose, the bow of his lips, the keen of his jaw, the whiskers on his cheeks. And his eyes, admittedly a favorite of Sasuke’s, stare back unblinkingly with a sheen that reflects his own face back at him. His pupils are strangely blown, barely any traces of the blue he seeks after. The same blue of the ocean, and of the sky, and of different shades against the right light. They flicker and frolic but they always hold the same warmth and <em>something else </em>he doesn’t dare say when he looks back into sinking pools of blue.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>In the silence of his company, he thinks about the words that he cannot say.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And only then does he dive back in his inner monologue about his current predicament as he watches with the familiar pressure behind his eyes, his sight sharpening and memorizing every track and trail of his face. Yet again, he’s stuck in some sort of weird loop where he keeps coming back to the same arches and the faint quiver of Naruto’s lips. And his attention is drawn to them immediately, wondering if –</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Your Sharingan is active,” The edges of Naruto’s eyes crinkles and the same glow he’s always sought after him returns without warning. And if he’s a little blown away with the easy puff of his cheeks, the familiar smile playing on his lips, and the mirth evident in his favorite shade of blue, then nobody has to know but him. “Idiot.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And, if he were to be completely honest to himself, maybe he appreciates this, a little bit. Maybe he enjoys the way the moonlight falls onto the glass of his windows and onto the atypical peace on Naruto’s face. Maybe he looks forward to most nights, and most days, with this view right in front of him as he opens his eyes. Maybe he enjoys Naruto’s smiles – unlike those he shows in public, too wide and too bright – smaller, but genuine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maybe, just maybe, he can learn to be content with the soft thrums of warm chakra enveloping his partner’s body. Maybe he can wake up each day without vivid images of <em>red, red, red</em>, filtering his sight. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maybe he can learn how to trust again, how to care again, how to – </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“..love you, Sasuke.” He’s driven out of his thoughts once again, face betraying the unsurmountable emotions he suddenly feels rushing out of his already pained chest. It hurts just to sneak in a breath, hurts to see Naruto in front of him unbearably close.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>So</em> much. You don’t even know, ‘ttebayo.” Sasuke almost scoffs but his face is a little warmer than before. He chooses that moment to run away and avert his gaze but strong fingers grip his jaw and turn it towards Naruto’s own face filled with <em>adoration, admiration, and the deep, deep, almost painful reminder of devotion.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Look at me, okay? No more running away.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He looks. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Naruto’s slightly trembling fingers let go of his grip against Sasuke’s jaw, instead rising and trailing up to brush a few raven strands away and tucking them behind his ear. His Rinnegan is seen clearly, the purple eye mystically ethereal even more so with the contrast of his own pale face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Naruto’s smile seems to widen and Sasuke fights the urge to hide and take cover because he has only felt this vulnerable twice, and he cried both times. The apprehension on the tips of his fingers almost wants to strike, to lash out, to fight, to do anything but feel whatever it is brewing inside of him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re beautiful, you know that, right? I can finally see why all those girls kept chasing after you back then.” He feels his cheeks heat, and as if reliving a memory, Naruto chuckles, the sound low and resonating. He feels a shiver down his spine but Naruto doesn’t seem to notice, his eyes steady and entranced on Sasuke’s own features.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Untouchable, huh? You were always so out of reach, and I had to claw my way up just to finally stand by you,” Naruto pauses, and Sasuke lets him talk, lets his eyelids shut softly. “It was worth it, though. <em>Everything</em>.” He opens his eyes back again, his stomach whirling and whirling like he was sick. He doesn’t want to say anything, knowing that his voice will shake and tremble, uncontrolled with all the emotions lurking beneath. He doesn’t understand Naruto’s insistence, his chasing, his everything. He doesn’t understand Naruto at all, even when he thinks he does, he always manages to surprise him every time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Cat got your tongue, Uchiha? Did I scare you with my swagger?” And the tension breaks just like that, Sasuke feeling the twitch of a smirk on his lips. This time, he can’t keep the unmistakable <em>fondness</em> in his tone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You were boring me to sleep, <em>dobe.</em>”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Naruto laughs, warm and light, like the emotions floating in his stomach, whatever they were. He hates them, but he knows this will always and forever be a part of him from now on. A warm hand cups his cheek and his eyes widen slightly before he swallows another crawling lump down his throat. He clamps his eyes shut, twitching beneath his lids in anticipation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He feels something warm and soft press against his forehead. His breath hitches.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s familiar. Almost. But he’s never felt this before, for anyone, for anything. It’s an annoyance. His heart feels as if it’s about to explode in the next second. It <em>hurts.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Naruto’s lips are warm, so, <em>so warm</em> that even when he pulls away, he still feels the tingle on the spot he had pecked him so gently. It’s almost burning with the sensation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You are mine.” He mutters gently, and Sasuke hears the sheets rustle once more as Naruto leans in and presses two more kisses against his closed eyes. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And I am yours.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And his heart <em>can’t handle it. </em>He feels like he’s <em>dying.</em> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke can’t swallow the lump down his throat this time and he feels it thrum in displease, feels the familiar sting in his still closed eyes, feeling the tingles of warmth down the spots Naruto has kissed him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He’s done this every night, ever since he’s been released. He’s stayed here, with Naruto, with warmth, with sunlight, with his entire world by his side and he feels so good that it <em>hurts. </em>He has never felt so good in his entire life. Always filled by pain, and betrayal, and sadness, and hurt. And this hurts too, so much that he feels like dying.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But it’s different, it’s always been different with him. Naruto has always broken down his walls, has always reached out to him when nobody else did, has always looked him in the eye, and stood in front of him. He is light, and he is darkness. He is warmth, and he is the cold. He is hope, and he is despair. He is the sun, and he is the moon. That was a simple fact he’s always denied again and again. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Because when Sasuke tore him apart, Naruto has fixed him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Perhaps, still imperfect, mismatched shards and unfillable cracks, but Naruto is quickly learning how to mend these cracks and shards with gold and silver. He puts Sasuke back together and knows he is not the same as he was before. He will never be the same kid who fought and bickered and played with Naruto when they were genin. And Naruto knows this with all his heart and soul.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Naruto still fills him with gold and silver and platinum lacquer. And he accepts him, with all weaknesses and vulnerabilities with open arms. He swiftly surrounds him with <em>devotion and time</em> that he does not deserve. And yet, he comes back anyway. Even when Sasuke snaps in particular days, even in the angriest of fights – he always comes back to Sasuke. And that truth is ingrained in him again, like the sun and the moon, yin and yang, black and white. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He is Naruto’s, and Naruto is his.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Naruto settles Sasuke’s silence with a small, airy laugh, a pleasant chime to his ears. He feels the comfort of arms around his torso, a chin on the nuzzle of his head, his own body tucked close against Naruto’s and he hides a smile of his own.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yours.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey y'all, this is my first time posting on ao3 and the first time im writing for like,,,,,,,, many many months, or probably a year. im very rusty and i think my style has changed a whole lot. and i have no clue what's going on but we'll skip over that. i feel like this is somewhat ooc. as you can see, im also inefficient at titles and summaries and my inability to appeal to the general audience will be the death of me one day but for now, i hope you enjoyed reading that or at least gained a semblance of embarrassment from how bad i think this is omfg,,,, stay safe and have a wonderful day!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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